Wood You Be Mine? Act 1 Finale



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To everyone who’s followed along so far, I present to you the thrilling conclusion to Act 1 of Wood You Be Mine? I hope you’ve enjoyed reading it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. And don’t worry — we still have two acts left.

Last we left off, Legno was trying to convince the Brothers Gemini for a chance with Marion, a sexy, seductive (to Legno) marionette. Will they let him? Hint: No. Like I said, there are still two acts left up in this bitch.

And if you need catching up, check out Act 1, Part 4 here. Enjoy!


“Don’t encourage him,” Giovanni said, snapping at his brother. “Okay, listen…wait, what’s your name?”

“Legno Abigail Ragazzo.”

“Okay, Legno. Marion here is a doll…”

“Oh man, is she…”

“No, shut up, you said that already. Listen and let me finish. Marion is an actual doll. She’s made of wood. She has no flesh, no organs, and no brain.”

“Sounds like a match made in heaven if you ask me, Gio,” Giuseppe choked out, partially laughing at his own joke.

“You seem like a nice kid,” Giovanni continued, ignoring his brother’s comment, “a little dense, but not your fault. Frankly, I blame the schools. But that’s neither here nor there. My point is that you two can’t be together. Why don’t you try finding a nice living girl your own age?”

“But…” Legno began, before being cut off by Giovanni.

“We’re doing one more show here tonight at dusk,” he stated in a very matter-of-fact manner, “Same spot. If you want to, come by and we’ll let you say good-bye to ‘Marion’ before we head back north.”

“Yeah,” Giuseppe said, picking her up, “Maybe she’ll even let you give her a kiss good-bye.” Turning his head to the doll, he continued, “Won’t ya, love?”

Giuseppe, speaking in a high-pitched voice out of the side of his mouth, responded to his own question as if he were Marion, “Oh, that would be the cat’s pajamas!”

“Oh, you’re a filthy little slut, aren’t ya, love?” Giuseppe cackled, then immediately tossed Marion into her carrying case. “Gio, if you kindly, a little help disassembling the stage?”

“Wait, what are you…!” Legno cried.

“We still have a lot work to do before we can pack it in for the morning,” Giovanni responded, exhausted from the conversation. “I’d let you stay, but to be honest, you’re kind of a weirdo, and I’m a little afraid you’re going to fondle the doll.”

“I’d be gentle.”

“I’m sure you would be. Listen: Tonight. Dusk. Come early so you get a good view of the show. But for now, seriously, get out of here.”

“Don’t be so hard on the kid, Gio. He and Marion might actually make a good pair. Sure, she’s made of pine, but something tells me Legno here’s got a little wood in him, too.”

Giovanni, now scrunching his eyes and rubbing his temples, pleaded with his brother, “Beppe, please shut up. Legno, we’ll see you later today, alright?”

“Fine,” Legno pouted as he limped away, his body once again heavy with a feeling of rejection.

He walked down the cobblestone streets, hands in his pockets, anger in his eyes.

“Stupid!” Legno exclaimed as he kicked a rock down the street, “Gemini!” he yelled again, punting yet another rock, “Brothers!” he screamed at the top of his lungs as a third rock went flying into the distance.

“You sure are an angry fellow, aren’t you, lad?” a tiny, somewhat gravely voice said.

Legno looked around, trying to find the source, “Who…?”

“Maybe I can help with that,” the mysterious voice added. “I overheard that little exchange you had with those gypsies. Not very helpful, were they?”

“No, they were kind dou…” Legno started saying, still looking around. “Wait, seriously, who are you and where are you?”

“Look down, son.”

Peering at the ground, Legno discovered who this mystery person was, except it wasn’t a person at all…

…it was a giant talking bug.

“My name is Timothy, and I’m going to make all of your dreams come true.”


END OF ACT 1


Holy crap, Act 1 is finally done. Who would’ve thought that I’d have the attention span to get this far? Certainly not I.

So share on Facebook, retweet on Twitter, or e-mail me with any comments or suggestions! See you in a week!