First Request

First Request

Kristen the Riveter

Technically, this is the second request I’ve gotten, but the first request of “erotica” (you know who you are) seemed a little too risqué so early on. So in my attempt to teach myself basic Photoshop, I started with:

Oh, the places that fist has been…the things it’s seen.

Mixed gently with this:


And this was birthed:

Please don’t click on this image; the quality is much worse zoomed in.

Okay, the speech balloon doesn’t exactly match up, but I was very hungover (mom, hope you’re not reading this). Granted, it’s not the most spectacular piece of Phostoshopping you’ll ever see, but I have a bit of pride in it all the same.

So if anyone else has a some images that they’d like to see me crudely mash together, keeping in mind that it’ll look worse than that married couple’s first kiss on The Virgin Diaries, let me know here.






Wood You Be Mine? Act 1, Part 1



 photo WYBM11_zpsa38785fd.jpg

Legno Ragazzo is an idiot.

Okay, that’s not fair. Legno was seriously lacking in common sense, forethought, and overall good judgment, but the idiot had his reasons. The skinny 11-year old had been orphaned at a young age by a woman who sniffed too much glue when he was still in the womb. As such, his capacity to learn was, to put it lightly, diminished. Stefano Saggezza, his foster parent, had done his best to educate him. As a local schoolteacher, Saggezza was no stranger to nurturing young minds, but unfortunately, nothing seemed to stick in Legno’s. Ironic since Legno’s mind was riddled with glue.

Six years had passed since he adopted the young Legno. Saggezza, no stranger to the drink, woke up on the kitchen floor one hot morning in early June after a particularly intense bender. As he ran his fingers through his white, wispy hair, he couldn’t help but notice an etching of himself with the boy on the kitchen wall. Looking at it, the old man reflected on the day he adopted Legno. Not having anyone in his life, he sought to fill the void by adopting a child. Hoping for a child whom he could mold into an intellectual, he chose the boy chewing on his own toenails in the corner, admiring the boy’s ingenuity. That day, he took Legno home with him.

Things hadn’t quite turned out as Saggezza had hoped.

Through the years, Legno seemed to grow dumber and dumber, a fact which never ceased to baffle Saggezza. And although he cared for the boy, Saggezza’s apathy over attempting to raise him was unquestionable.

Legno barreled down the stairs; the racket pierced through the hung-over Saggezza. He flew through the small living area giving no regard to the old man. Entering the kitchen, he threw open the curtains to let some light in.

Saggezza groaned, “Damnit, Legno.”

Ignoring his complaints, Legno poured himself some juice and chugged it as fast as he could. He was in a rush, you see. He had big plans today. Big plans, indeed.


TO BE CONTINUED


Act 1, Part 2 coming soon.

Let me know what you think!







Introduction

Introduction

Hello, friends.

So in an attempt to teach myself a bunch of new skills (think Bill Murray in Groundhog Day) such as HTML, Photoshop, Final Cut Pro, piano, etc., I wanted to make a blog to chronicle it. Will it be interesting? Eh. But I’d like to hear from you. Something you want to see Photoshopped? A video you want me to tinker with? How about a short story suggestion (yes, I’ll be writing, too). Suggestions are more than welcome. Let me know: Send Mail